Living meditation

I thought I had a problem
a line
a fixed event in the space of time, in the flow of work, of life
my mind plumbed the depths
I saw it anew
a shining, formless thing
hanging in the space where my tranquility use to be
shimmering softly
calling my mind’s attention to it
eating up the peace that I had cornered for myself
there, was the mistake – peace is eternal
not only without but all through the delicate crystalline structure before me

yet I saw an adversary there
one whom I had imagined to be against me
saw my thoughts swirling about them with
heavy toxicity, impairing them, hurting them
weapons in my protection from perceived attacks
their thoughts, thieves weaving in and out of my mind
poisoning my happiness – stealing away my strength
this ruinous play held my attention away from peace

making me forgetful, sleepy, stupid, numb
open only to battle
all contained in this one structure
of many dimensions more than three
in the struggle there was a kind of beauty
a deadly, bladed thing to be marvelled at
cutting, slicing, rending and wrenching apart
the beauty of destruction
for so are we found

I did not understand, was not in a space of understanding, only observation

across aeons of time, through myriad forms of space dust
‘oh, take heed little one’

within the shining formless form, my mind ceased to fight, to defend
turned as if blind, seeking the source of light
the barbs and slings of the other missed now, futile for all their strength
war makes us mighty, does it not?
fell scattering through oblivion
mind sensed the otherness of the conflict and the oneness in being
but little mind, it could not understand
could only weep for time lost, happiness spent, a body broken, a heart laid out in ashes
battles and contentions come to naught
ambitions, fierce pride worn away by waves of ceaselessness

and peace like a river
coursing through eating conflict, resolving nothing, rendering no truce
peace that simply is, peace all around
dissolving the problem, salving the mind, comforting the weary warrior
reaching in
touched the warrior, opened my eyes to the living world
no problem, no thought, new as dawn
praising what we are

(November 14, 2003)


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