White dakhini

White Dakhini
 calling to my soul
 with voice of
 crystal chimes
 sounding out the pride
 and iniquity of
 my ego

I want to follow
 in your cold footsteps
 to the heart of
 the mystery of my soul
 Let me unravel the
 cords of karma and
 lay them softly
 at your feet

Hold open my eyes
 to the dance of death
 that all feet pattern
 on the green face
 of the world
 Cover me with your
 cool snows that I
 will not heed the
 inferences of my
 errant passions

Shine before me
 like the stars of night
 imprinting destiny
 on to the stretched black
 canvas of my
 shrouded mortality

Allow me to follow
 in your transparent footsteps
 past bodies of
 living death
 Show me the spiral
 of your icy grasp
 that will fling me
 into the nothingness
 that is the truth
 of all hearts

May 10, 2004

Black dakhini

Clothed in gold
 wrapped around the
 black of recognition
 She wields the power to
 destroy the worlds
 and enslave what minds
 are left

But instead
 what does she do?
 Dance
 move with the intricate rhythms
 of time
 weaving a tapestry
 of action
 and reaction

Through her destruction
 does she cleanse
 does she heal
 does she surrender

Nothing without reason
 will she strip from the
 flesh from your back
 No blood shed that
 has not been called for
 by another
 all accounting done
 all things made equal

Listen to the tale
 told in her eyes
 and let your body
 feel the jarring sensuality
 of her being, not flesh
 not other
 follow as she leads
 for you will move past it
 She will take you beyond
 the boundaries of your
 scarred existence

Touch and destroy
 raise up, build, create
 all is her legacy
 is distraction from the
 centre and if you
 follow the way of
 the Dakini
 she will lead you from
 your madness to
 the empty peace of
 your core

(April 28, 2004)

bodhisattva

watching the drop of clear dew
turn to red flame with the
new born sun
brightest moment before death
it evaporates

hands touching in
the moment of forever
more fleeting than tears
essence of it
remains for lifetimes

how the lotus glows
among dark water plants
against the surface of
the pond
beauty aching for light
inspired by the mud
at its roots

watching the master
in meditation
immovable as the dark
fragile as a breeze
the peace of
inspiration

writing a thousand
lines
only to discover a word
that is less
than the mind
more than the universe

aum

(June 3, 2004)

The last walk

I have been bedecked in brilliant gems, my mind in a vacant stupour

Had gold flowing through my hands and been poor in my generosity

Received my share of praise and blame

But in the end all is made even – Karma

Only here for a season, so brief a time

I must go Home, just like every body – Dharma

The purple velvet of Twilight holds me gently

As a babe rocked to sleep in mother’s love

Stars peep out and kiss my fears

And waves sing me the eternal lullabye

My silver footsteps tread moonbeams toward Rest

No gold or trinket follows me here

Accolades reduce to whispers; rebukes come to naught – Peace

I return, without burdens, to Mother Earth and Father Sky

And dance the rhythm of forever – Aum

(2001)

mythic

in that mythic corner of my mind
I’ve sculpted your face out of air and hope
coloured your eyes with the first light of evening
and left your voice that silken rope

where did you go when you walked away?
when can I show you my work of art?
you left me with that parting smile of tomorrow
that whispered secrets to my heart

the sun has touched your soul with light
the bonds that hold us are finer than air
our spirits dance in the fields of the stars
your tears of blessing sink into my hair

pale moon rises above waters on the rim
a lonely ship passes from my view
the mariner wears a white star on his brow
all times run together when I walk with you

waves lap the walls of night sighing endlessly
forgotten creatures watch with sorrow in their eyes
the unicorn and the dragon await in hope
the winged horse glides us to enfolding skies

you turn to me and brush my weeping heart
with the laughter that I have come to know so well
‘it is meant to be’, you whisper softly fading
one last touch, on which my memory will dwell

so I weave a dream with finest grace
that your steps will remember their way back to me
and sew in tiny drops of love and hope
believing that it is indeed meant to be

(January 21, 2004)

Living meditation

I thought I had a problem
a line
a fixed event in the space of time, in the flow of work, of life
my mind plumbed the depths
I saw it anew
a shining, formless thing
hanging in the space where my tranquility use to be
shimmering softly
calling my mind’s attention to it
eating up the peace that I had cornered for myself
there, was the mistake – peace is eternal
not only without but all through the delicate crystalline structure before me

yet I saw an adversary there
one whom I had imagined to be against me
saw my thoughts swirling about them with
heavy toxicity, impairing them, hurting them
weapons in my protection from perceived attacks
their thoughts, thieves weaving in and out of my mind
poisoning my happiness – stealing away my strength
this ruinous play held my attention away from peace

making me forgetful, sleepy, stupid, numb
open only to battle
all contained in this one structure
of many dimensions more than three
in the struggle there was a kind of beauty
a deadly, bladed thing to be marvelled at
cutting, slicing, rending and wrenching apart
the beauty of destruction
for so are we found

I did not understand, was not in a space of understanding, only observation

‘child’
across aeons of time, through myriad forms of space dust
‘oh, take heed little one’

within the shining formless form, my mind ceased to fight, to defend
turned as if blind, seeking the source of light
the barbs and slings of the other missed now, futile for all their strength
war makes us mighty, does it not?
fell scattering through oblivion
mind sensed the otherness of the conflict and the oneness in being
but little mind, it could not understand
could only weep for time lost, happiness spent, a body broken, a heart laid out in ashes
battles and contentions come to naught
ambitions, fierce pride worn away by waves of ceaselessness

and peace like a river
coursing through eating conflict, resolving nothing, rendering no truce
peace that simply is, peace all around
dissolving the problem, salving the mind, comforting the weary warrior
reaching in
touched the warrior, opened my eyes to the living world
no problem, no thought, new as dawn
praising what we are

(November 14, 2003)

lotus

in the palm of my hand
unfolding petals of light
rayed with hope, opportunity
understanding, pain, bitterness
despair

lotus

holding out to me the joy of
self known from the immortality
of primordial mud
yet, for all distinction
being the same as
the wisdom in its
dark roots

poet without a voice
writer without a pen
still may tell the story

lotus

walking with your brother
into the pink heart
of truth
and singing to the
dawn pregnant with yesterday’s
newness, tomorrow’s dreams

sing

hold my hand and dissolve
fragment my heart
so the love can leak
out
and replenish the earth

follow no rules
the universe
will hold you in the
cradle of its
laws

lotus

drop petals as veils
before the truth
and laugh
at the illusion

(October 14, 2003)

For a great poet

It touched me how they wrote to him, praised him, idolized him
it touched me how I could never know, never feel, never hear those things of him
touched me in the heart of what I am, what I was meant to be
warring with a world out of time, a song without a place to go
an inside with nothing to cover it, an ache for no reason
there was no sense to it, no rhythm, no colour
and I live my life by those
how many now moments squeezing into the same instant
consciousness touching upon consciousness
dimensions out of whirl beyond the first world and into my knowing
why is that so difficult
I did not know him but his spirit moves me to my being
oho, now there is a real daisy
I could never be a writer, just a mirror holding a pen
always sliding down the scale of places I have never been
never seen the sunset across the long Pacific water
never heard the beat of his heart in my hand, nor hitch-hiked to the head space of a junkie
but he touched me, how could I stay the same
gone to the world, conscious intelligence to the voided universe where all our hopes lie
what are we, we little men and women, pulling out the teeth of our brothers, smashing our sisters
while their children wail in the dust at our feet
what thing is in us that we should understand more, behave less
he was a great poet, a great spark of dharma, he must have known
he was what he was, I will never know it
but I am here and is that not worth some smile from eternity
I have pain with which to mop up the roaring tirades of poets
who will ease the burdens I have found, no one to pick them up and take them on their shoulders
who will walk that mile with me, he is gone
they who are together, I will never be among them, will never see what they see
but from my window endlessness flows to the foot of infinity
he knows that place, dares the rest of us to find it

Inspired

You are boasting to me, but have you ever loved a woman past her eyes?
Touched the burning brightness of Within?
Have you seduced beyond her flesh to the gem of her being?
Have you let her show you the worlds she soars through?
Have you held her joy on your tongue?
Caressed her infinite beauty?
Have you looked past the softness of her skin and basked in the brilliance of her intelligence?
Even when she cannot contain her pleasure in raw droplets of sound,
have you recognized her rhythmic wisdom?
When you have sipped the soma of her eternal bliss and been wrapped within her comfort
When you have traded her passion for her simplicity
When you have seen the thousand women she has been, streaming through her eyes
Then you may speak
Every woman is a song in the god’s own music
Can you hear the notes of harmony in her voice, the spiralling dissonance?
Did you spurn her thinking her too old, too fat, too thin, too much trouble,
And miss the unwinding thread of her soft longing?
How can you call yourself a lover and not have seen a woman’s light
showing up your fears, naked and limp
accepting you into her anyway?
Not seen the homeward flight of your soul,
Her eyes, touching you, setting fire under your skin?
The heart of a woman with secrets that do not unfold,
But wrap around you dark and safe and true
Have you walked there? Have you seen that night where no light need shine?
Can she take you away, splinter your mind, make you mad, make you a fool?
She is the dark maw of universal unbeing
Stripping sinew and muscle within her soft body
A delicious shell, gentle covering over strength of passion to unseat your senses
The invitation to voracious Kali and time beyond time
To being free

How can you speak of prowess, daughter of the world when you have not seen a man
for the joy he bears in the grace of his walk?
Do you admire his body hungrily and ignore his mystery?
You gaze enraptured at his face but go blind to the stark beauty of his pride?
Have you loved a man all night until his tears fell, drops of heartbreak, into your hair,
Until his hands became angels of mercy and soft gratitude
And he opened to you like a most gentle flower?
Did you strip down past your body to bathe in his knowing of what you are?
Have you seen his lips bruised with the kisses of lovers past
And drank their wine believing it to be all the sweeter?
Have you tasted his intellect as it flowed past your tongue through the lips of eternity?
Have you held his tenderness with your swaying hips until he whispered your name to the night?
Did he gaze at you with unrecognizing eyes while you took him beyond awareness?
He is more than you know, a creature of fire and myth
A dancer of the world dance on your heart, intricate steps leading over the abyss
Have you the courage to go?
To move over him, a flaying palm in a hurricane,
carry him to the wild, manic swirling edges of passion?
drop to the centre of peace, tangled within him,
diamonds wafting down in the stillness of the ocean?
So easy to be ensnared – greedy longings driving you like a beast
But, have you made a gift of your need, an offering to him,
sacrifice to the gods, mingled your atman and his with no questions?
In his eyes is Siva – destroyer, dancer, lover – he will consume you
Burn your heart and shiver your being, rend you with his newborn stillness
He will make you free